I’d like to share something with you that you might find a little unsettling, although you’ll immediately see the truth of it. I’ve listed 10 insights about developing your job search personality that your parents, your college recruiter, or your local HR representative likely never told you. I hope these insights help you gain confidence, self-esteem and assist you in becoming a gracious, amiable individual.

1. Build up your fund of poise. How? By learning that a smile and a shrug go a long way toward turning an awkward interview moment into a “no-account” incident – particularly when you have to cope with that moment. When you show that you don’t take yourself and what happens to you too seriously, you put others at ease.

2. Don’t hold grudges, and don’t spend your time keeping bitter moments alive. No matter how justified your hurt feelings may be, dwelling on them only makes you unhappy, and unhappy-looking. You can pass on your negative feelings to others through your conversation and actions as well as the expression on your face. People usually find a way to dodge the negative person.

3. Decide to make the best of what you have. No one has everything, so accept the fact that you’re no exception. When you stop to count your blessings, you may realize that you have both the time and the energy to contribute to someone’s happiness – if it’s only with a kind word or two. You may feel that life is something less than beautiful, but remember that self-pity is an acid that eats holes in happiness.

4. Don’t live in fear of what will happen tomorrow, next month or next year. Take today as it is, an hour at a time if necessary, and do the best you can with whatever situation you find yourself in. This helps you to hang on to a calm, cheerful attitude, and cheerfulness is contagious.

5. Keep an open mind to ideas, company cultures, and creeds that differ from your own. There’s no limit to learning, and a healthy curiosity promotes interesting questions. People always appreciate the chance to explain their special backgrounds. Though not everyone can be a scintillating conversationalist, anyone can be an attentive listener – and learner.

6. Don’t be quick with the sarcastic quip at someone’s expense. It’s a tip-off to your own self-dissatisfaction. Building up your ego by undercutting others is a sure way to not make new friends and lose the friends you do have, as well as influencing people against you.

7. Try to keep your eyes on the future rather than on the past. If you’ve made mistakes (who hasn’t?), and if you must stir around in old, cold ashes, try to discover what you can learn from those past mistakes and resolve to do better. Have a positive attitude about your ability to improve, instead of brooding about what can’t be undone. Learn from your mistakes.

8. Don’t be critical. The old Indian saying that you can’t really understand another until you’ve walked in his moccasins for six months teaches us to avoid sitting in judgment of others. Something to keep in mind -- 85% of the respondents to our J.M. Wanes FY 2004 career transition survey indicated that talking too much and not listening was the most offensive behavior a job seeker can do to eliminate him/herself from further consideration.

9. Create a compelling unique selling proposition. Know your strengths and be ready to talk about them. Hiring managers predict how well you’ll perform based on your past accomplishments, so package your experience in terms of goals achieved, abilities developed, and lessons learned. Practice telling your “stories” into a tape recorder or to someone you trust. Rehearse stories about your professional accomplishments and answers to common interview questions.

10. Don’t insist on having the last word about everything. Even if you’re right, some things are better left unsaid. You never have to apologize for what you don’t say. Think before speaking.

A positive job search personality belongs to the person who keeps it polished by using the paste of self-improvement plus the soft cloth of kindness and consideration for others. A smile and positive attitude is contagious, always has been and always will be.

Joe Hodowanes, a career strategy adviser in Tampa, Florida, offers a free resume and career analysis. Fax your resume to (813) 936-0201 or email it to jmwanes@jmwanes.com For questions, call Joe at (813) 936-0091 or visit www.jmwanes.com on the Web. All Job Search Advisor articles on this website are the property of www.jmwanes.com (J.M. Wanes & Associates). You may download
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© 2005 J.M. Wanes & Associates.